'My femininity is a personal and important part of who I am, and it connects beautifully with my queerness. It's more about how I feel inside rather than how I look. My femininity and queerness go hand in hand, making each other stronger. Together, they help me live my true self, challenge societal expectations, and work towards a more inclusive world'
Francesca
'I am feminine, I embody femininity - it's in my every move, in how I emanate myself through the world. I connect to it through the smallest things, the odd accessory here and there - or even just a gesture, made in the flow of naturally existing in a homely space. My body is my home and she feels really great, she feels queer and queer-ly manifesting - feminine - as she looks, with a longing-gaze, into the lens of a camera. '
LYCIA
''I believe that femininity is socially constructed; ‘attributes, behaviours and roles generally associated with women and girls’ which to me is part of being a compassionate human. In the past, I have adopted those attributes to present as more feminine in order to mask my queerness as a way to fit in and feel safe in the world of heteronormativity I was from. I am privileged to be born a woman to always identify as one which allows me to take on those many guises as a way to express, explore and blend. Now, I feel much more at peace with my queerness, I know it’s part of who I am innately, so however I choose to present myself to world going forward, it will always be from a place of authenticity, growth and self-love. ''
Linzi
''As a young child I only wanted to wear my brother’s old clothes. My peers would ask me “are you a boy or a girl?”. The question felt wrong somehow and I never really knew how to answer it. By process of elimination I would often say “boy” because I didn’t feel like a “girl” (I wanted to play football at break time, not make up dance routines), but I also didn’t feel like a boy. More than two decades later and a whole new language around gender has emerged. Am I a boy or a girl? I am a woman and I am neither. To me, femininity is an inner strength, a collection of intangible qualities that make you part of a sisterhood. Femininity solves problems, makes decisions and is quietly powerful. I don’t outwardly present as feminine, but I will never give up the joy that is belonging to womanhood.''
Rachel
'For me, life started by being at war with my feminine side. I perceived femininity as a conformity to a series of gender norms that designate what is considered socially appropriate for women to do, feel and act upon. So, i didn't want to be perceived as such. The women in my life (proximal and virtual) proved me wrong. Femininity is not just the simple sum of all things feminine, and in no way is just the opposite attributes to masculinity. It's a way to be proud of my soft skin, short stature and gentle hands. It's my voice when the world gets cruel and loud. It's the common ground that I share with my fellow sisters and transcends borders and cultural norms. I feel my queer feminine self both when i dress in sparkling clothes and go out rough with no makeup on. Queerness gave me the means to express how i feel and think about myself by projecting it on me like a live canvas. I'm proud of the ever-changing self I'm becoming.'
marina
'As a gender-fluid (non-binary to female) gay woman I find I express my femininity more at times when I feel I more identify with my female side. As when I feel more non-binary I feel less feminine. It is a unique place to be, I often feel in between different genders and yet I still feel gay all the time. I've learnt to accept my dual mix and its fluidness as my true authentic self, this makes me much happier and at peace with myself. '
Fynn
'I found the question about my femininity difficult. I have never felt feminine. I just feel like me. Also femininity means different things to different people. I look the opposite of what is deemed feminine – it took me a long time to feel fully comfortable with presenting more masc but it feels great to finally fully embrace it. I do have many emotional qualities that are considered feminine but I think everyone could show those qualities if they felt they could. I gave birth to THREE children which sometimes felt uncomfortable as it felt too feminine but mostly it was an amazing experience and made me feel lucky to have had this option. I also find it cool to look so masc and be a mother as it's different to the norm.'
ANGIE
''As a gender-fluid person, femininity to me, can sometimes seem like a double-edged sword. I often worry that I'm not being queer, or non-binary enough when I'm in a dress, wearing make-up, despite this bringing me as much joy as wearing my binder and shirt.
Every day is different, I could wake up one day feeling like a beautiful man, putting on a loose shirt, tying my hair up, but still adorning myself with eyeshadow, eyeliner and mascara. Then on other days I crave the swoosh of a poofy skirt, or to go for total androgyny. My identity on the day often plays a huge role in deciding how I dress and express myself, equally other days it plays very little, where deciding how I dress is purely emotive and nothing to do with how I want to be perceived; on these days I can go full tom-boy, or be a man in a dress. I’m far more comfortable in myself than I have ever been and yet I’m still teaching myself that any days identity is just as valid, just as queer and just as me.
I love playing with gender and being the shapeshifter little me always craved to be.''
KATE
'As someone who came out much later in life, and is still in the process of coming out, femininity and queerness have not been part of my vocabulary. Furthermore, growing up in India, I believe lack of representation played a huge part in this. I have never thought of wearing my femininity or my queerness as a label, they don't define me. I acknowledge my privilege in saying that I am who I am, and don't want to be compartmentalised and put in a box. I admire and envy those who have these aspects of their life figured out.'
ANU
'I never think about femininity or anything like that and I've never understood what queerness is. The more I try to think about anything like that about myself the less things make sense to me. I think the best way to sum it up is that I'm just me the person. I try to accept who I am and what I am. At the same time, I try to find places where I might fall short as a person and I try to find ways to improve. I usually do fall short as we all do and then have to keep trying, but that's part of what makes life an interesting journey. One thing I've definitely found over the years is that if I'm nice and friendly to people (even if they hate me at first) then they grow to like me and I grow to like them and we all have a much nicer time. People don't seem to hate me once we start talking but I think that sometimes people have an idea of the kind of person I'm likely to be. I like to think me being nice might help change people's hearts and thoughts about people like me.'
Gemma
'I feel my femininity is a natural energy that comes from inside. as I recall when I was young being magnetised towards femininity, maybe because of the nice pretty colours and all the attention to detail. When I was a child in the uk, queer had a very different meaning. it meant eccentric, unusual and many other negative uncouth words. as I grew up the terminology changed and yes, I do agree queer feels more of an encompassing identity that includes femininity and masculinity together as I identify as a trans woman that is queer and I feel more welcomed as a feminine and accepted regardless of body type and being expected to fit specific categories'
Livi
'femininity for me is all about accepting myself as I am and not trying to fit any forms of femininity that the society enforces on me and women in general. Femininity to me is to be allowed to wear anything I want and present as a different person externally while my energy and the person inside remains the same. Queer femininity is all about accepting that I can be vulnerable, soft and caring without feeling that it can be considered a weakness. Being queer and feminine is ultimately removing any expectations from myself to fit into patriarchal norms.'
LIA
'Our society praises assigned female at birth (AFAB) individuals for expressing what are considered to be feminine qualities and interests, while also sending the message that these qualities are inherently inferior and limiting. For me, the power of queerness is that it allows me to embrace my ‘feminine’ traits as both equal to and compatible with my more 'masculine' qualities.'
karen
''Since coming out as nonbinary, femininity has felt like an art form and something I can have fun with, rather than a rigid set of expectations that society has forced on me, which is how femininity felt to me when I identified as a cis woman, and as I become more comfortable in my identity, I feel true joy in being feminine and moulding my femininity to fit who I am.''
raven
'You are not born a woman. You become a woman. (Simone de Beauvoir)
I aim to transcend gender and sexuality stereotypes of consensual reality and project my queerness and femininity through the way I dress and present to the world. pink and purple dominate the colours I wear. Whilst these colours are most commonly associated with femininity, my jacket is a man’s as is my t-shirt.
Like sexuality, gender is fluid. Today, I identify as a queer woman. Tomorrow I could feel differently. My femininity merely is one part of the components, which comprise my whole self. I, also, embrace aspects of masculinity, whilst subverting masculinist and patriarchal ideology. Like everyone else, I present as a package that can be subjectively deconstructed. But, as I wrote in one of my poems, “Tear away the label and we all look the same''.'
Louise
